Chaos, equanimity, or… if you think this is chaos just wait? Which is it?

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real-time case study, right?

ill-advised or not,
my filters are dissolving

been freaking out the last 24 hours -
coronavirus news,
movie release,
and moving
it’s all a bit too much for me

my brain is on the fritz
speed-bumping along

i claim to be strong and calm,
but i’m overcome…

i live in worry of the future
while telling myself to stay present:
“right this moment, i am ok. those i love are ok.”

i want to keep them that way,
to plan for the future,
while somehow not worrying.

but there are so many unknowns…

never in a million years,
could have i imagined such a world event
coinciding with our movie release

i’m both a business owner and world citizen
i want to be responsible and wise
to take the right course of action

i’m not planning a huge event or a festival
i’m not in control of whether theaters open or close

but i am in charge of
pushing, cajoling, encouraging
people to congregate together…

i have to admit that our hearts aren’t completely in it

we are still marketing,
but we are also discussing
mitigation strategies
backup plans

the situation changes daily

we won’t know anything until Monday
when numbers are released
from this weekend’s films

i thought we might sneak through
but it’s escalating day over day

last weekend’s box office was ok
imperceptibly impacted

this weekend is unclear
next weekend? (our weekend)
who’s to say…

we’ll reassess tomorrow and then on monday
do we travel to LA or not

so far, we proceed as planned

do we put others at risk?
by promoting group interaction

do our actions affect family and friends?
unnecessary travel

what a strange, fascinating and absolutely terrifying time…

every business in the world faces the same questions
and every individual thinks of family

and business and livelihood
also affect family

and what about the world’s service workers?
grocery and bank tellers
uber drivers
medical workers

can they go home?

i work from home
but have a student

in many cases
my inclination would be
to say we’re over-reacting

but the extent to which
countries are reacting
in unison and solidarity

makes this a time
to join not rebuke

the shape that takes is unknown

but wow how the world has taken on one consciousness

to actually witness it…
talk about a once in a lifetime event…

wishing you health, safety,
and some modicum of equanimity -
if you have any to spare,
blow it in a kiss my way

♡ Annie

Photo by Ashes Sitoula on Unsplash


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