Some days sit like a load of bricks on the brain. Others sprout like sunshine.
After a few days of slog, today was sunshine from the moment I awoke.
I’m trying to remember the triggers to create more sunshine days: sleep, food, hope, small successes, renewed courage, teamwork.
It all makes me wonder if success and goals are an inside job.
Not… if I can just get all these tasks done.
Instead… who do I need to become: courageous, enough, worthy, trusting, believing, aware, rigorous, fun, joyful.
In moments of striving, the push and pull is visceral. In parallel, I both attempt and resist a goal. Shedding fears to pick up speed, then crashing, relaxing, learning to let go and find joy in the pursuit.
The path to big dreams can stretch on endlessly, invisibly — a canvas naked of stones.
Each task is a pebble for the path, needing to be sourced and placed.
It’s so tempting, when overwhelmed by the endless path, to look far ahead, grasping at new ideas, magic pills that will swoop in and swirl all the stones into perfect place.
But there’s no magic pill. There may be magic ideas, but no invisible bridge across which to magically spring.
I adore ideas. Interestingly, I also adore accomplishing tasks. But it’s easy to disconnect them, to see an idea as magic and tasks as menial, annoying.
Yet they are connected. They are one.
In the same way that one audience member multiplies to create a crowd of fans, one task multiplies to create a big idea, and each stone multiplies to finish a path, a completed journey towards a goal.
but all the pebbles don’t yet exist
only the first pebble,
and then the next
the pebbles appear when needed,
so why not keep to the path?
because sometimes the path looks too long
with no pebbles
it seems it will never fill in
then comes the temptation to stop
to draw back
to sit cross-legged in the middle of the path
gathering stones in lap
or to give up
become consumed with fear
of not knowing
of not figuring it out
but it’s ok
the pebbles, the tasks
they will come
get up, keep moving
put down those stones
and rest in the cool grass
along the sides of the path
because some days that is exactly what is needed