When Will I Wake Up

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I’ve been traveling the world. In my head. On Zoom, Webex, BlueJeans.

Two shoots tomorrow. In Australia. And London.

I’m not here nor there.

I’m in the black hole in my head. Swirling.

Sorting lists, time zones, emails, schedules, names.

I can’t remember what happened yesterday, who I saw, where I went. The season.

I didn’t step outside today.

In the past, on productions, I’ve missed entire seasons, months. I wake up at the end and see the life that changed, moved on without me. The snow came, the leaves dropped.

Tomorrow I’ll go out. And check on my gopher holes. See if they’ve caved in with the rain or hold water for future trees.

Then I’ll remember for a moment that I live on an earth, near dirt. Not floating on atoms in my head. On rays seeking brains across the world. To connect. Help. Smooth. Solve.

And then it will end. And we’ll all rest.

And wake up.

♡ Annie


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